For Parents
How Does GMPS Use Positive Behavior Guidance?
At Glenview Methodist Preschool, Positive Behavior Guidance begins with helping children be successful. Teachers create predictable routines, clear expectations, warm relationships, and thoughtfully planned environments while intentionally noticing and reinforcing the behaviors we want children to practice more often.
When challenging behavior does occur, our goal is not simply to stop the behavior in the moment. We help children regulate, set clear limits, understand what happened, and learn what to do instead.
Positive Behavior Guidance Starts Before There Is a Problem
Our goal is not simply to respond when challenging behavior occurs. Teachers intentionally create classroom environments, routines, relationships, and expectations that help children be successful in the first place.
Preschoolers are still learning how to wait, listen in a group, manage disappointment, share space and materials, communicate what they need, and handle strong emotions.
We do not expect them to arrive already knowing how to do all of those things.
Those skills are part of what we teach.
Catching Children Being Successful
Young children respond to attention from the adults they trust. Our teachers intentionally look for opportunities to notice and reinforce the behaviors they want children to practice more often.
“I notice Maya is ready for the story. Her body is calm and her eyes are watching.”
“You waited until Ben was finished and then asked for a turn. That was great problem-solving.”
“Everyone at this table worked together to clean up the blocks. You knew exactly what needed to be done.”
This kind of specific, genuine praise does more than say “good job.” It tells children exactly what they did successfully.
It also gives other children in the room a clear picture of what success looks like.
A child who is still getting settled at circle time may hear the teacher positively notice a classmate who is ready to listen and decide to make that same choice. A child learning to wait may see another child receive warm recognition for asking for a turn instead of grabbing.
We often find that positive attention can prevent a small struggle from becoming a bigger one.
The goal is never to compare children or embarrass a child who is struggling. Instead, positive reinforcement helps make the behavior we want to see visible.
- 1“My teacher noticed me doing this.”
- 2“I know how to do this.”
- 3“I feel proud that I can do this.”
Over time, successful behaviors become increasingly the child’s own.
Creating a Classroom That Helps Children Succeed
Positive guidance also happens through the way teachers organize the day.
Predictable routines, clear expectations, thoughtfully arranged classrooms, engaging activities, appropriate choices, and warm teacher-child relationships can prevent many behavior problems before they begin.
Questions our teachers consider:
- Do children know what is expected?
- Is the wait too long for this age group?
- Does a child need a meaningful job during a transition?
- Is an area too crowded?
- Are there enough materials?
- Does a child need help entering another child’s play?
- Would a visual cue or reminder make the routine easier?
- Is the activity developmentally appropriate?
Sometimes the most effective behavior strategy is not correcting a child afterward. It is changing something beforehand so the child can be successful.
What Happens When Challenging Behavior Still Occurs?
Even in a thoughtfully planned classroom, preschoolers will have difficult moments.
Someone will want the same truck. A child may become frustrated. Someone may push, yell, cry, refuse, or lose control.
- 1Keep Everyone Safe
- 2Understand What Happened
- 3Teach What to Do Instead
- 4Help the Child Try Again
The goal is not simply to stop a behavior in that moment.
The goal is to build the skills that make the behavior less necessary over time.
Behavior Is Communication
Young children often communicate through behavior when their language, emotional regulation, perspective-taking, or problem-solving skills are not yet strong enough for the situation.
- A child who grabs a toy may not yet know how to enter the play or ask for a turn.
- A child who pushes may be overwhelmed and unable to express, “You’re too close to me.”
- A child melting down during a transition may be telling us that stopping one activity and moving to another is still difficult.
Understanding the reason behind a behavior does not mean allowing hurtful or unsafe behavior.
“What limit does this child need?”
and
“What skill does this child need help learning?”
Both matter.
What If a Child Hits, Bites, Pushes, or Hurts Someone?
Safety comes first.
A teacher will calmly stop unsafe behavior and make sure the child who was hurt is cared for.
Then we help the child who acted unsafely understand the limit and learn another way to handle the situation.
“I won’t let you hit. Hitting hurts. You wanted the truck. Let’s tell him, ‘Can I have a turn when you’re finished?’”
The boundary is clear: hitting is not okay.
But the interaction does not end with the limit. The teacher is also teaching the language, self-control, and problem-solving skills the child will need the next time the same situation occurs.
Positive Behavior Guidance is not permissive discipline.
“You’re angry. It’s okay to be angry. It’s not okay to hit.”
What About Big Feelings and Meltdowns?
Sometimes a child is simply too upset to learn in that moment.
When a child is overwhelmed, the first job is helping them become calm enough to regain control. A teacher may stay nearby, provide reassurance, reduce stimulation, help name the feeling, or give the child time and support to settle.
Once the child is regulated, we can talk about what happened and practice what to do next time.
Regulation comes first. Teaching comes next.
Empathy Is Still Developing
Preschool-aged children are still developing the ability to understand another person’s point of view.
A child may recognize that a friend is crying without yet fully understanding: “My action caused that feeling.”
Or they may understand that someone else is upset but still have difficulty thinking about that person’s feelings while they themselves are angry.
That does not mean young children are uncaring.
It means empathy, perspective-taking, and self-control are developmental skills that grow with experience and adult guidance.
We teach empathy rather than assume young children already know how to use it.
Do Teachers Make Children Say “I’m Sorry”?
Our goal is genuine understanding and repair, not simply getting a child to repeat the right words.
A quick forced “sorry” does not necessarily mean a young child understands what happened or feels empathy for the other person.
Instead, teachers help children slow down and notice:
“Look at her face. She is crying because she got hurt. What could we do to help?”
A child might:
- Bring an ice pack
- Help rebuild something that was knocked over
- Return a toy
- Check on a friend
- Offer a hug if the other child wants one
- Choose to apologize
The goal is not simply to produce the word “sorry.”
The goal is to gradually develop empathy, responsibility, and the ability to repair a relationship after making a mistake.
What If a Behavior Keeps Happening?
Repeated behavior tells us that the child probably needs more support — not simply more correction.
Teachers begin looking for patterns:
- When does it happen?
- What usually happens right before it?
- Is there a particular transition or situation that is difficult?
- Is the child trying to get something or avoid something?
- Is the environment contributing to the problem?
- What skill might the child still be developing?
We may adjust the environment, provide extra support during a difficult part of the day, explicitly teach a missing skill, practice language the child can use, or create more opportunities for successful experiences.
When Do Parents Become Involved?
Families and teachers are partners.
An occasional conflict, impulsive grab, or emotional moment is a normal part of preschool.
When a behavior becomes frequent, unusually intense, creates a safety concern, or interferes with a child’s ability to participate successfully in the classroom, teachers communicate with families so we can work together.
Parents know their child in ways we do not. Teachers see the child in a group setting in ways parents may not.
The conversation is not
“Your child is a problem.”
The conversation is
“We’re noticing that this is hard for your child. Let’s figure out how we can help.”
What Are Children Learning Through Positive Behavior Guidance?
- Self-regulation
- Emotional vocabulary
- Empathy
- Communication
- Friendship skills
- Conflict resolution
- Problem-solving
- Persistence
- Responsibility
- Independence
These are not extra skills separate from academics or school readiness.
A child who can manage frustration, participate in a group, solve a problem with a friend, ask for help, recover from a mistake, and try again is more available for all kinds of learning. That is also why Positive Behavior Guidance fits so naturally with our play-based learning approach.
Frequently Asked Questions
Those Moments Are Part of the Learning
Preschool is one of the first places children learn how to be part of a community outside their family.
They will share space with many different personalities. They will want the same toy. They will become frustrated. Feelings will get hurt. Children will make mistakes and need another chance.
Those moments aren’t interruptions to learning. They are part of the learning.
At GMPS, Positive Behavior Guidance means surrounding children with caring adults, clear boundaries, positive reinforcement, and repeated opportunities to practice the social and emotional skills they will eventually be able to use on their own.
Research & Resources: Want to Learn More?
- NAEYC — Guidance and Challenging Behaviors
NAEYC provides guidance on developmentally appropriate approaches to behavior, classroom guidance, relationships, and helping young children develop social-emotional skills.
- National Center for Pyramid Model Innovations
The Pyramid Model provides evidence-based practices for supporting young children’s social-emotional development, positive behavior, emotional literacy, friendship skills, and problem-solving.
- ZERO TO THREE — Helping Young Children Develop Empathy
ZERO TO THREE explains how empathy, perspective-taking, and caring responses develop gradually in young children and how adults can help children understand and respond to other people’s feelings.
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org — Positive Discipline
The American Academy of Pediatrics describes effective discipline as teaching appropriate behavior through clear expectations, positive reinforcement, limits, and developmentally appropriate guidance.
About the Author
Written by Karen Coan, M.A. in Education, Director of Glenview Methodist Preschool
Karen has served as Director of GMPS since 2016 and works closely with teachers and families on curriculum, school transitions, behavior guidance, safety, staff development, and program planning.
Last updated: October 2026